How to Just Be

Photo credit: Marion Michele on Unsplash

Photo credit: Marion Michele on Unsplash


Maybe you’ve heard someone say to you before, “Get yourself into a place of being.” or “Just be.”

In fact, I remember a coaching teacher of mine saying exactly that. It was at the close of one of our class sessions. And, this course was one of the last courses of the entire coach training. Since we were nearing the end of our coach training, many of us coaches were in the throws of launching our businesses and attracting clientele. Our schedules were full, we had plenty going on.

In the midst of a few students discussing the heavy loads that life appeared to be delivering, our teacher said this, “And sometimes, you have to allow yourself to just be.”

One of my classmates followed with, “How do you just do that? I want to look into that more; how do you just be?”

Unfortunately, we were at the end of the session and had to end the call. I thought about what he said and wanted to respond as around that time, I was also curious about how I could simply “be” more of the time, and what that really meant.

I responded to him through email with the below; of what I think it means to get into a place of being, and where I’m recognizing places in my life that present an opportunity to do so.

  • Be the witness.
    I’ve learned to witness that the foreign energy that can sometimes creep up in my days. The tension, the stress, the anxiety. When I'm anxious, when I'm pushing too hard, when I'm impatient with progress, when I'm frustrated. I allow myself to become aware of it. I might say, "Ok, something is off. There's a feeling of tension that is foreign to me.” “I have a furrowed forehead, and am sighing alot."

    The awareness allows me to stop and breathe into it. Sometimes this is done right in front of my laptop; I'll stop and just take a few deep breaths, which allows me to question all of the pressure and if I really just need to yield to it. This alone can help those foreign feelings begin to release and bring me back into a clearer space for myself. This clearer space allows me to just be with these moments, without having to give in or overreact to them.

  • Accept what is.
    I accept where I am, and allow myself to be where I am, without holding judgement of myself.
    "Yeah, I'm feeling under pressure right now."
    "I'm exhausted today."
    "I'm really hurt by what that person said."
    "I'm not keeping on top of my schedule like I'd planned to."

    I think a huge part of acceptance of where we are and how we're feeling is actually being in and of  itself.

  • Allow and give permission to ourselves.
    Usually if I can do bullets one and two, I can come into more awareness of what I'm blocking and what I need to allow.

    Sometimes allowance means we need to give ourselves permission with certain things.
    "I need a break."
    "Yes, I'm ambitious and I'm building my dream, AND it's ok for me to have a little more balance and a shift in perspective."
    "I need more time in nature and less time in front of a laptop or on my iPhone." "It's ok for me to ease up, and allow in more self-care."
    "I don't have to respond to that email right this moment. Not everything is urgent."
    "I can RSVP "No" to my friend's 1-year-old's birthday party this weekend and find another time to connect with her."

    Allowing what is happening to come through, and giving ourselves permission to shift where we need to is allowing ourselves to be. Be more us, be how we need to be for that moment, day, season, or lifetime.

Being the witness of what’s happening and how we’re feeling. Accepting what is without holding judgement over ourselves. Allowing what we need and giving ourselves permission to shift where need to. These are all steps I’ve learned have helped me get into a place of being, and just being me. My intention is that they can assist you to get into your best place of being as well. Comment below and tell me what ways you allow yourself to get into a state of being.